A cool and funny blogger friend, Maria recently did a post
showing some of the weird myspace messages she gets sent. I found I still had a couple in my inbox, so thought I’d share, too.

Title: What a beautiful lady you are Nikki
“Hi, my name is Dimitri, I am a Greek-American, living in MY AREA. I am recently divorced, father of 4 boys, (yes I do not know how to make girls… lol)

Saw your profile and I thought of sending you a message. Are you single?

kisses on your forehead
Dimitri”

Dimitri, I’m glad you feel having 4 boys shows how virile you are. Do you actually raise them, or are you too busy trying to find chicks on myspace? Do you have a job & pay child support? You know, MY AREA has strong penalties against deadbeat dads.

And, no, I’m not single; I state that I am happily married about 50 times, numbnuts, just so assholes like you won’t hit on me.

knees to your groin,
Nikki

Title: Hi
“you sound nice and real unlike a lot of women on here…….…I am new to myspace and thought this would be a good way to find someone looking for the same as I was.
i am Italian/Spanish, 6′2, tanned olive skin, dark hair, live in MY AREA, have a great sense of humor, own my business and ideally ( life is not ideal, but it never hurts to try……lol ) looking for one friend, fun and intimacy. Been too busy working and travelling all over in and outside the US for the past 2 yrs ………..if you are looking for the same then we can talk/chat first and see how it goes.
My email is I WON”T BE THAT MEAN AND POST IT@msn.com and if you have yahoo IM then you can message me at LOSER.

looking forward
alan”

No, Alan, like most women on here I am a mean bitch. You’re right, though, I am real. So I’m not going to sugar coat this. You’re sad and pathetic. If girls in the real world don’t find you attractive or remotely interesting, pretending to be something you’re not online isn’t going to help. Sure, you might get a little cybersex until the girl figures it out, but shit, I hear the porn sites are all running specials. You don’t even have to bother with the lying and exaggerating on there.

Goodluck & get lost,
Nikki

Title: No Subject
“Hello Miss Lady,

How are you doing? I hope all is well. I would love to get to know you if that is possible? My name is Horatio but my friends call me “Q”. I have been back in MY AREA for almost a year now. I move from New Orleans “Before the Katrina”. If you cool with getting to know me you could give me a call or IM me on Yahoo. My user name is Q SUMTHINSUMTHIN@yahoo.com

If you are cool with us getting to know each other..hit me back if not I still respect your wishes.. It was truly a pleasure getting to know you.

Thanks…..Hopefully I will talk to you soon…

Q “

Q,
Is Horatio too difficult for your friends to say? Or are you upset your mom gave you a lame name? Glad you made it out before the storm but the only way I’d hit you back is with a very large bat.
Wow, that’s some talent you have; getting to know me while you do all the talking/writing. Very impressive. I guess there’s really no reason for us to communicate ever again, is there?!

You’re welcome,
Nikki

That’s all I could dig up. It’s no wonder Myspace gets a bad rap.